D-bags of the road: Part 2 - Two-lane highways

Today we will be continuing the D-bags of the road by paying particular attention to drivers found on two-lane highways. AND we have a Confession Thursday. Two birds with one stone! Joy!

Jerk on the left:
This is the guy who likes the left lane a lot. Usually, this is acceptable if they are driving fast enough. Not acceptable when he is going just above the speed limit and not actually passing anyone. Driver who likes the left lane, you suck. You are causing a long line of, essentially, frustrated stupid-fast people. Really, no one comes out of this happy as those cars start cutting other people off in the other right lane and speed on ahead of you.
"How do know if I'm an jerk-on-the-left?" If you look in your rearview mirror and there are more cars turning out of your lane than entering, this could be a clue. If you are no longer passing cars on your right, this is probably a stronger clue.
"How do I avoid being the jerk-on-the-left?" Simply go back to the right-er lane after you are finished passing the car in front of you. Please. The only pseudo-exception is if there is a left-lane exit. Oooh. I hate those.

Jerk on the right:
This should not be confused with a Stupid Slow driver. The jerk-on-the-right actually drives relatively fast for a driver in the right lane. And be careful not to associate them as a Stupid Fast driver that's just using the right lane for a quick moment. This driver is actually considerate enough to just stay in the right lane if they know they're not going to be the absolute fastest on the road. So then why are they an jerk? Because they are on the right side and usually, they are paired up with an jerk on the left. They are going just fast enough so that a wall has essentially been created for all traffic behind them. Both cars are still approaching slower traffic in front of them, but both are going a frustratingly slower speed than the cars behind them would like.

Confession: Sometimes I really really like being the jerk on the right. There's nothing like seeing that stupid-fast driver be put to a halt by a frustrating wall of traffic on a two-lane highway. The day your child is born may be sightly more fulfilling. Be careful with this move though. You might have one of those drivers that like to defy physics.