Sunday, January 31, 2010

Expensive cars

Every so often you'll pull up a car that catches your eye in a special way.

I then immediately felt guilty for thinking of ways to steal the car as it pulled into a church parking lot.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Trucks are my friend until they are unfriendly

A lot of people are afraid of trucks. They're big, tall, and have huge blind spots, and that makes them scary!

But me? I like trucks. I especially like the ones that drive a constant 75 mph so that I can draft behind it regardless of how low I am on gas. If they aren't going 75, then it usually isn't too much of a hassle to pass them. Even if I'm sandwiched with a truck behind and a truck in front of me, I'm okay. Sandwiched between trucks from the left and right? A little uneasy, but nothing to cry about.

Unfortunately, I had a thought the other day. What if you were between two trucks (left/right) and you suddenly heard rumble strips from both sides? Terrifying.

Why?

Because the trucks have to compensate so that they are not so rumbly. Where do trucks go if they are rumbly? Oh right, they squeeze into the inside of the lane. (That's where you are remember?) It's like having walls close in on you. I have the Star Wars garbage compactor scene playing out in my head.

"One thing's for sure--after this we're all going to be a lot thinner."

My imagination gets the best of me sometimes.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

D-bags of the road: Part 5 - Second land drivers and headphones

My D-bag dictionary is back!

Today, the focus will be drivers of the second lane (from the left), or SLDs for short. This will be fairly short, because it's easy to describe. No matter what, everyone in this lane is a jerk. Except if I'm in it of course.

Most SLDs are such fakers. They drive in it because they don't want to be "that guy" in the left lane. Or maybe they want to feel a little bit better about themselves that they're not the "slow" people. Either way, they drive in the second to left lane. But they don't actually drive as fast as they should for someone in this lane.

Forget all the lane crap that I know everyone ignores anyway.

BOTTOM LINE: If you are in the second lane, you should NOT be the slowest driver on the road. Just...no. If you are in the second lane and you are the fastest driver on the road, do NOT freaking scare the crap out of other drivers in the lane by waiting the very last second to switch into the righter lane just to "show them a lesson" about driving in that lane.

-----

Quick Quiz:
Headphones are meant to be worn while listening to your personal music while:
a) in your room
b) on a jog
c) bicycling
d) driving

ANSWERS ARE A AND B. FREAKING A.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Fog lights

I'm not sure when it became so popular for people to turn on their fog lights all the time. I'm under the assumption that the mentality is something like this:

Car Salesman: HEY! Would you like to add fog lights to your car for an additional $300???!
You: $300 for two extra light bulbs? WTF? Oh but maybe If I add them to my car, people will see I spent money on this feature and will think I therefore have money!
Car Salesman: YES! You are rich with fog lights!

Perhaps the situation doesn't play out like that, but I'm pretty sure some people put their fog lights on just to show off. I'm not talking about when it's actually foggy and might serve some purpose. I'm talking about normal night driving on a normally lit road when there is absolutely no need to add fog lights to your regular head lights.

Besides, I can't be the only one that thinks when a fog light is out that the car looks like this

Seriously, it looks like one of its front teeth are missing. Let's stop this fog light trend.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Today's story

Today, I was driving down to school on the parkway to sign the lease before work. I get to around exit 159 and I see a cop ahead with its lights flashing. "No big deal," I thought, "it's already way up ahead so I should still be able to drive my current speed."

No deal.

All the cars slowed down as the cop started to swerve back and forth slowly between all lanes of traffic--some sort of sign that we should stay behind it, perhaps? Then I started to notice that there were Parkway trucks blocking on-ramps to the highway. Uh oh, why do I have a terrible feeling about this?

And then finally, traffic comes to a not-so-screeching halt. And a huge tractor goes and does something in the road. We were seriously just sitting there in the middle of the road for a good 10 minutes. North-bound drivers were probably driving past laughing, "Lawlz, those noobs."

You would think they would have been able to come up with a better solution than to block all moving traffic in the middle of the day.

So I decided not to go sign the lease today just in case it was some ridiculous sign from God/it would have made me late to work.

Monday, January 11, 2010

My favorite time of day to drive

My favorite time to drive on the Parkway has got to be 2AM. Very few cars--at least not enough to get in your way/go across lanes of traffic to block you from passing. There's something very soothing about just seeing open road in front of you at night. And 2AM is still sort of early enough to not be tired; although it's almost 5AM now, and I'm still not tired. I wouldn't want to drive now though. We'd be hitting the early-morning traffic soon.

Or maybe I'm a freak. (Or no more Turkish coffee at 11 PM)

I think another overnight road trip is in order to test this theory.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Is it too late to 'pologize?

Hello hello. Again.

Sorry for the extended leave. December was a time for me to become a complete shut-in and study--even if it didn't actually help in the end. I've learned my lesson. Blog first, study later.

And then there was a big break where I didn't really drive a whole lot. Not that it suddenly means I cease to encounter bad drivers. Oh goodness, the holidays are the worst for driving. I swear, it's the crazies that come out around Christmas. I don't know if it's because people have lost all judgement from shopping for hours, or maybe it's that they don't know how to handle increased traffic volumes, or maybe it's that they're not from the area and not "aware" of the "standard" traffic rules. I suppose it would be a mix of all three.

But. This entry is not about holiday crazies.

This entry is about my living situation. You see, for this past semester, I have been living with my parents, which provides a wonderful commute from home to school/work for a total of 2 1/2 hours of driving a day (approximately). Regardless of how often you do it, it gets tiring. You are completely zapped of energy that you need to do other things in your life.

So, I'm moving. (Closer to campus. Like literally, behind campus housing, but in a hey-I'm-a-real-person-type condo.)

Does this mean I will stop having entries? Probably not. I will try to use a bicycle as a primary source of transportation while there, which will without a doubt, bring about some interesting stories. And I will still drive at least once a week up to my parents' house, for those looking for my fun driving rants.

And with that, I think I've wasted enough time today spouting off about how awesome I am.