Dear Silver Nissan Altima,
I'm sorry for nearly driving into you this morning. You must understand where I was coming from. Sure, it was cold and raining causing people to worry about the roads, but seriously, this guy was going 50 in a 65 mph zone. So I did what you would have done. I switched lanes.
Only you, Silver Nissan Altima, didn't have your lights on. Never mind that it was raining torrents, that my side mirror was all water droplet-y, or even that I was passing on the right instead of the left. You didn't have your lights on. And you, Silver Nissan Altima, blend in oh so well to the wet ground when you don't have your lights on.
Oh, I heard your first honk muffled by the pitter patter of rain. And your second honk. But there was nothing I could do that would change your disposition at that point, could I? So I just kept going. Besides, changing back into my other lane would have caused me to hit the very white van I was passing.
So, Silver Nissan Altima, I am very very sorry for ruining your commute. It ruined mine too. I know if our positions were switched, I would've tailgated you for a long time. You took a higher road and did not, so thank you.
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Dear balding middle aged man in a hurry for nowhere,
If I see you again, I will run you off the road.
Next time you cut me in line for gas, I will just rear end your car and push you out of the way. In the end it didn't matter, I suppose, because by the time we finished and paid (and you quickly sped off into a red light), I was right behind you. Really really right behind you. Sorry I stopped so suddenly behind you, but you must realize you had committed an unspoken travesty of car operation.
Oh, and that little move after making that right turn at the light into the middle lane, then going back into the right lane, then back into the middle lane to pass a car, then back into the right lane to get onto the Parkway*--that was so sweet in your '97 Corolla. Equally as sweet as when you crossed 4 lanes of traffic after getting on to the parkway to a top speed of 90 mph, only to slow down enough 3 miles down that I could catch up with you.
*Seriously, the path which this car took:
/* NEVER MIND. Satellite images from the "Big Three" aren't updated. Which is kind of funny, because that means they are at least 6 months old, since I never saw the construction before. */
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Dear convention of Crazy Fast drivers,
You go have your convention to drive really fast in the rain!
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Dear cops that keep pulling people over at exit 148 on the Parkway,
It's getting old. And causes an inexplicable amount of traffic because people slow down when they see bright shiny lights. I think it has to do with our country's ADHD epidemic. Please stop.
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Sincerely,
Jen
